When Aurelie and her partner received an unexpected call, their lives changed overnight. Five and a half years on, Aurelie reflects on the challenges and rewards of supporting a child with experience of trauma and the vital role Carers for Kids NSW has played in her journey.

For Aurelie, kinship care is about commitment, love, support and the child at the centre of it all.

“The most rewarding side is the purpose of what you are doing and who you are doing it for,” she explains.

“You’re making a difference in the life of a child – one who has possibly experienced abuse or been abandoned.”

She speaks clearly about what that responsibility means.

“You’re likely taking care of a child who was failed by adults in the past, adults who were supposed to protect them” she says.

“You give them a place of safety, healing and support.”

Aurelie knows the role is not easy, especially in the early stages.

“At first, children will test you, because they don’t trust you,” she says.

“But once they see you consistently support them, that you don’t give up on them and that you believe in them – then you start creating trust.”

She describes the small moments that told her she was doing something right.

“They’re going to draw pictures of you and them together,” she reflects.

“They’re progressively going to show their true self and share their thoughts, their feelings, their problems. All of these little moments are like sunshine on the journey.”

It’s this sense of purpose that has carried Aurelie and her partner through five and a half years of kinship care.

“We’re long-term placement kinship carers, and we’re now trying to move towards permanency with guardianship,” she says.

But the way Aurelie and her partner became carers was sudden and unexpected.

“We had never met the child, never talked to him, and we had no idea that he had been removed from his parents’ care,” she says.

“Within 24 hours, we became committed basically without knowing anything about the child.”

At the time, Aurelie and her partner were both working full time and had no experience of child protection or out-of-home care.

“My partner was in a managerial position in finance, and I had been working in education for 16 years,” she reflects.

“I was a teacher full time, and I was very committed to education.”

The child was three years old when he came into their care.

“When he was born, we were living in another state, and we decided to move to New South Wales to be part of his life” Aurelie says.

“But we had no idea what was going on in his life, because we had been kept apart.”

Despite the lack of information, Aurelie says the decision to step in was immediate once they were called and able to get involved. Looking back, she is open about how unprepared they were.

 “We didn’t know anything about the out-of-home care system,” she remembers.

“We didn’t know the child’s rights, and we didn’t know what our rights were as carers.

“Sadly, we were very naïve and should’ve asked more questions.”

As time passed, Aurelie began to notice signs that the child was struggling.

“I’m an educator, so I have some training about recognising some red flags” she says. “Very early on, I noticed some of them.”

At the time, Aurelie and her partner didn’t fully understand how trauma presents in young children or how to respond in an informed way.

“When you have a child come into your care and you don’t know how to navigate trauma and support the child through their struggles, it’s very difficult,” she explains.

“We didn’t realise that the reason he was lashing out was because he felt safe with us,” she says. “Now, with our level of training, we understand that and we know how to respond.”

A major turning point came in 2023, when a therapist encouraged Aurelie to seek independent support to get some targeted training in line with the child’s therapeutic needs and learn how to advocate.

“That’s when we found out about Carers for Kids NSW,” she says. “Before that, we had no idea it existed.”

The impact was immediate.

“That was a life-changing thing for us,” she states.

“Suddenly we realised there were answers. There was support. There was training. We didn’t have to keep fighting on our own.”

Training through Carers for Kids NSW reshaped how Aurelie understood her role.

“The most useful training we’ve done has definitely been with Carers for Kids NSW,” she continues. “We were very lucky to attend three trainings on Therapeutic Life Story Work. It was life changing.

“It’s about supporting children with experience of trauma, understanding the needs of the child, adapting your responses and developing techniques and strategies to support them.”

Aurelie also highlights advocacy training as critical.

“We completed training about how to advocate for the kids in your care,” she explains. “That was fantastic.”

Beyond training, she values the practical resources available.

“The library on the Carers for Kids NSW Carer Portal is great,” she says. “There are excellent therapeutic books available.

“I wish we knew all of this was available for carers and we had used it at the start,” she continues. “The first few years would have been more manageable with that understanding.”

As Aurelie and her partner gained confidence, they wanted their experience to contribute to change beyond their own family. That led them to join a Carer Advisory Group.

“We wanted all the struggle we’ve been through to have a purpose beyond our child,” she says. “We wanted to make a difference for the benefit of other carers and children in care.”

Through the group, Aurelie has been involved in advocacy conversations and policy discussions.

“I think there is hope,” she says. “Carers are starting to have more of a voice, and that’s wonderful.”

When asked what advice she would give to carers who are struggling, Aurelie returns to what she has learned.

“Know the rights of the kids in your care and advocate for them,” she says. “Know your own rights as a carer.”

She also stresses the importance of independent support.

“You can’t care for a child in a sustainable way if you don’t have support yourself when needed,” she says. “Know where to get external support. For us, Carers for Kids NSW is the number one place to go.

“Even through all the hard times,” Aurelie adds, “remember why you do it and who you do it for, and allocate time for self-care.

“Being a carer is a hard mission, but it is also a beautiful and meaningful one”.

Learn more about the support Carers for Kids NSW provides carers here.